Is This My Life?
by chyron girl
Summary: Stella's new job brings her into contact with her past.


**Author's Note: **So this takes place in the More Than Friends universe, but it's seven or eight years into the future.

* * *

Stella got out of her car and looked out at the ocean. This was her first visit to the beach since she had moved to Virginia Beach just before the new year. Warmer spring temperatures had finally arrived, and she thought taking a walk on the beach was just what she needed to get away from grading papers. Unfortunately, she hadn't considered the trip down memory lane coming here would cause.

She had taken a job as an Assistant Professor at Virginia Wesleyan University. The pay wasn't great, but it was tenure track, and the school, although small, seemed like a good fit for her. Her biggest hesitation over taking the position was the school's location, but tenure track professorships didn't grow on trees, so here she was.

Her first couple of months living here she had been occupied with settling in at the University and figuring out the politics. Her class load was hectic. As the newest member of the Literature department, she was given a lot of the large intro classes, filled with mostly freshmen who were still adjusting to college life.

Now that she had a handle on things at work, she had more free time. Free time meant she had time to think and time to remember. The school's campus was certainly new to her, untainted by any past memories of times she had spent in Virginia Beach, but other locations around town weren't so free of ghosts from her past life.

She found herself avoiding the coffee shop they used to love and the restaurant that had been his favorite. It still could be, for all she knew. If anyone had asked her just a few months ago, she would have told them she was over Clay Spenser, and had been for a while, but living in Virginia Beach had made her second-guess that.

She questioned now if that was why she couldn't seem to make another relationship last. She had dated some very nice guys, but they all seemed to be missing something. Was she comparing them all to Clay? She actually had started seeing someone just before the holidays and she thought maybe he was the one, but she was concerned that her recent reminiscing on her past relationship could put a strain on this new one.

Locking her car door, Stella headed across the parking lot and towards the beach. She hoped the light breeze and the noise of the surf would help her blow away the cobwebs.

Then, as if her thoughts had conjured him up, she saw a familiar-looking man get out of a black truck parked further down the parking area and start to walk around the front to the passenger side. Could it be? As he turned to open the rear door of the extended cab, she saw his profile.

"Clay!" She called out. "Clay Spenser!"

He looked up as she walked up to him.

"Stella," he said, sounding taken aback. "This is a surprise."

"I know," she replied. "I never expected to see you here."

Before he could comment, there was a squawking noise from inside the cab of the truck.

"I haven't forgotten you," Clay said as he turned to speak to whatever, whoever was inside the rear of the cab.

She stepped forward to see what was making the noise and was shocked. Clay was unbuckling a baby from a car seat. She surmised that it was a girl from the pink bow on the hair band around the baby's head. The band was little more than decoration as the baby's blond curls were short and very fine.

Clay was grinning down at the little girl as he lifted her from the car seat. The baby gave him a big, toothless smile in return and gurgled happily.

"Clay," Stella asked, still shocked, "is she yours?"

"Yeah," he said with a bashful smile for Stella. "Meet Lanie."

"She's beautiful," Stella breathed.

"Yeah, she is," Clay agreed. "But I might be a little biased."

Stella smiled. "I suppose you could be, but she really is a beauty." And she truly was, Stella thought. The baby had big blue eyes with long lashes and definitely her father's curls. Stella felt a little tug at her heart as she thought that.

"How old is she?" Stella asked.

"Not quite six months," Clay replied. "She still has trouble sometimes sleeping at night, including last night, so we're having an afternoon out," Clay explained. He then directed his next comment to his daughter, "so, your mom can catch a nap, stubborn girl."

The baby smiled again up at Clay, confident in her father's love no matter what he said.

Stella felt another little tug at her heart when he mentioned the baby's mother. Stella's eyes slipped lower to search for a ring on Clay's hand where it held the baby to his chest. Of course, there was one. She never thought of Clay as the kind of guy who would carelessly have children before he was married.

"You don't get up with her?" Stella teased him a little.

"I do, but I don't have the right equipment to feed her," he clarified. "And Lanie here doesn't like a bottle with the pumped stuff at night to go to sleep. It makes it hard on Em sometimes."

Stella nodded, but before she could reply Clay spoke again.

"Could you hold her for a minute?" He asked. "I need to get the carrier out."

"Um, sure," Stella agreed a little nervously.

Clay gently handed Lanie to Stella. She could smell the little girl's baby powder scent. Lanie started to fuss a bit as she realized she was no longer in her father's arms. Stella tried bouncing her a little in an effort to keep the fussing from escalating.

"It's okay," she murmured to Lanie. "Your Daddy is right here."

As Stella bounced the baby and tried to comfort her, Clay reached into the truck and grabbed a cloth baby carrier. He quickly put it on and adjusted the straps.

"I can take her back now," he said.

Stella handed the baby back to Clay, who settled his daughter into the carrier so she could rest against his chest.

"Well, you know my big news," Clay said. "What have you been up to?"

"Not having any babies," Stella replied. "That's for sure. I just took an assistant professor position at Virginia Wesleyan, so that's why I'm here in Virginia Beach. It's tenure track, so I'm hoping this could be for the long term."

"That's great, Stella," Clay commented. "I always knew you'd be a great teacher. So, no babies in the near future?"

"There's someone I've been seeing," she replied. "It's still early days though, so it's a little soon to be talking babies."

Before Clay could comment Lanie let out a little shriek. Clay bounced her a little in the carrier.

"Somebody wants the attention on her again," he commented. "Jason always says she comes by it honestly from the women in the family." He grinned. "Which generally pisses Em off a little."

"Jason Hayes?" Stella asked.

"Yeah," Clay answered, as he continued to bounce his daughter in the carrier.

Everything clicked then for Stella. Jason Hayes must mean Em was Emma Hayes. Stella's clearest memory of Emma was seeing her cry in her father's arms after her mother died. Stella remembered thinking at the time what a terrible thing it must be for a young woman to lose her mother.

"You married Emma Hayes," Stella stated more than asked.

"Uh huh," Clay replied. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. From inside he took out a photo that he handed to Stella.

In the photo was a smiling Clay with his arm around a radiant Emma Hayes. They were posed on a beach in wedding attire appropriate for a beach ceremony.

"And the name Lanie?" Stella asked on a hunch.

"It's short for Alana Rose," Clay stated. "Rose is for my Grandmother."

Stella looked down at the picture again. "You both look really happy," she said and handed him back the photo.

"We really are," Clay said with a smile. He replaced the photo in his wallet and returned it to his pocket.

"I'm glad," Stella told him. "You deserve to be happy, Clay."

"You do too, Stella," Clay replied. "I mean that."

"Thanks," she replied. "I know you do."

Before either of them could say any more, Lanie started to fuss in the carrier.

"Sorry, Stella," Clay apologized. "I need to start walking with her. She likes to be on the move."

Stella laughed. "I wonder where she gets that from?"

"I have no idea," Clay said with a grin. "It was great running into you, Stella. I'm glad things are going well for you."

"I'm glad I ran into you too," she said, seriously. "You take care."

Clay shut and locked the truck door and headed off down the beach with his daughter. Stella watched him as he moved further away, his head tilted down to speak to the baby resting against his chest.

As she watched them go, she wondered. What if she had been braver? What if she had listened more to her heart and not the seeds of doubt her parents had planted? Could this have been her life now? She'd never know.


End file.
